Disappear


Dolly Khattar


A character in a classic movie insisted that humans operate on two levels: a fantastical and a realistic one. Only which one is real? All the sorrow crippling the world and turning it against itself has one cure. The fantastical and realistic worlds of humans must not clash anymore. You must be wondering what this is all about. I am one of the humans whose two worlds struggle to find peace in one another.  

I created a fantastical level when my realistic one shattered my life. Imagine being transported to the Golden Age of Hollywood and finding a special connection with dead actresses. That connection electrified me, not to become Frankenstein, but to remain a human with a warm heart. Covid-19, an economic crisis, and a deadly blast are the fire that dripped the coffee out of the pot. All the while I stood looking at that insufferable dripping, I could not help but get mad at the dirty stove which could represent the shortage of fuel, instability in the Lebanese currency, and extensive power cuts. How do human beings living in the modern world of 2022 surpass this?  

Everyone found a way. I related every mishap to my favorite classic actresses. Power cuts reminded me of the many actresses who famously starred in war pictures where blackouts lived at night. The unstable currency turned movies portraying the Depression into lessons that no matter how much the world changes, history does not repeat itself. It remains the same; however, it is turned into a modern adaptation.  


From those experiences, I found at least my purpose. Not only to write to remember but to empty my thoughts on paper and fill my head with new ideas until the moment comes to declare that my dreams were big, and I have achieved them. Only then will I kiss the starry sky and disappear.